If you’ve ever believed that confidence in English comes from learning more English, I want you to stay with me until the end of this post.
Because I used to believe the same thing.
I used to think that the better your English is, the more confident you become. That if I could just learn more vocabulary, perfect my accent, and master every grammar rule, I would finally feel confident speaking English.
But I was wrong.
The Myth That’s Keeping You Stuck
A few days ago, I ran a poll on Instagram, asking:
“Do you believe that better English means better confidence?”
90% of people said yes.
And I wasn’t surprised – because this is exactly what we’ve been taught to believe.
Of course, having a basic level of English is necessary. You need to know how to structure a sentence and have a vocabulary that allows you to communicate.
But beyond that?
More English doesn’t equal more confidence.
My Wake-Up Call: When “Perfect English” Failed Me
For those of you who don’t know me, I grew up in Macedonia and fell in love with English as a child.
I would lock myself in my room, open my school’s English textbook, and teach my dolls as if they were my students. I was obsessed with learning English.
So, I studied it. A lot.
I even enrolled in university to study translation and interpreting. But something felt off from the beginning.
We were learning English like it was science…as if we were memorizing mathematical formulas instead of learning how to communicate.
No creativity.
No real-life practice.
No training for how to navigate actual conversations.
Then, I moved to the United States.
And everything I thought I knew about English fell apart.
The Reality Check
My first weeks in the U.S. were overwhelming.
I had spent years perfecting my English, yet I:
– Struggled to keep up with fast conversations.
– Felt invisible in discussions.
– Didn’t know when to jump into a conversation.
– Felt like I was speaking like a beginner, even though I wasn’t.
And then, I saw something that changed my entire perspective.
I met non-native speakers who had worse grammar, heavier accents, and smaller vocabularies than me…but they were owning their space.
They weren’t afraid to speak.
They didn’t hesitate.
They didn’t care about making mistakes.
And people listened to them.
Meanwhile, I was overthinking every sentence, second-guessing every word, and shrinking myself because I didn’t feel “ready” to speak.
That’s when I realized:
The problem wasn’t my English. The problem was my confidence.
Step 1: The Decision That Changed Everything
I got tired.
Tired of feeling like I wasn’t good enough.
Tired of people talking over me.
Tired of watching others get ahead – not because they had better English, but because they had the confidence to use what they had.
So, I made a decision.
I decided that something needed to change.
And this is the first and most important step you need to take.
Because the truth is, most people stay stuck because they never fully commit to changing.
If you’re tired of:
– Feeling invisible in conversations
– Holding yourself back because you don’t feel “ready”
– Knowing English but struggling to use it confidently
…then you need to make a decision—an internal commitment that from today forward, you will start showing up differently.
👉 Without this, nothing else will work.
Step 2: Identifying What Wasn’t Working
Once I made the decision, I asked myself:
What’s NOT working?
I wrote down every struggle I had:
✖ I wasn’t speaking up in conversations.
✖ I was overthinking every word.
✖ I judged myself every time I made a mistake.
✖ I was focusing too much on sounding “perfect.”
I encourage you to write your own list right now.
What’s holding you back?
- Is it fear of making mistakes?
- Is it feeling like you sound awkward?
- Is it believing you need to learn more before you can speak?
Once you see it clearly on paper, you know exactly what needs to change.
Step 3: Creating Proof That I Could Be Confident
Here’s the truth:
Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s proof.
You feel confident when you have enough proof that you CAN do something.
Right now, you probably don’t feel confident because the only proof you have is:
“People judge me when I speak.”
“I always freeze when it’s my turn to talk.”
“I sound stupid.”
So, my goal was simple:
✔ Create new proof.
How? By doing things that were out of my comfort zone.
– I forced myself to speak in every opportunity – even when I felt uncomfortable.
– I started small: commenting in a group conversation, asking questions, contributing one idea.
– I kept doing it – again and again – until one day, something shifted.
I proved to myself that I COULD do it.
And the moment you prove to yourself that you are capable, everything changes.
- One confident moment leads to another.
- You start seeing yourself differently.
- You build a new identity.
And that’s when you stop “trying” to be confident – because you become confident.
Step 4: Repeating This Until It Became My New Identity
I didn’t just do this once.
I repeated it again and again.
Because here’s the thing:
✔ Confidence isn’t built in a day.
✔ It’s built through repetition.
Every time I pushed myself to speak, I created more proof that I could do it.
Until one day, I woke up and realized – I had become the confident speaker I always wanted to be.
Not because my English had improved.
Not because I had memorized more words.
But because I had trained myself to show up differently.
How You Can Do This Too
If you’re feeling stuck, here’s your action plan:
1️⃣ Make a decision – Decide that from today, things will change.
2️⃣ Identify what’s not working – Write down what’s holding you back.
3️⃣ Create proof – Take small but bold actions to prove you can speak with confidence.
4️⃣ Repeat until it becomes your new identity – Stay consistent, even when it feels uncomfortable.
This is how you stop waiting for confidence and start building it.
Your Challenge: Start Today
If you’ve read this far, it means you’re ready.
So, I want you to comment below and tell me:
- What’s ONE thing holding you back in English?
Let’s start changing it today.
And if this post spoke to you, share it with someone who needs to hear this.
Or, watch my full video where I explain this in detail.
Confidence isn’t about speaking perfect English. It’s about owning the English you already have.
– Marija